The day and time you send a message is a lot less important than well… not being an idiot. As we serve women, I truly know the extent to which most men are complete idiots online. It’s pretty frustrating having to cut off communication with a guy that a female client of ours is interested in just because he has no online dating etiquette and common sense about the rules of male-female interaction.

I’m sure that the vast majority of your readers are ahead of the curve but, as you’ve pointed out, before they focus on when to send the messages they should indeed master the art of ‘communicating effectively in their profile and writing thoughtful and engaging opening messages.’

I just want to caution about worrying about it too much and making perfect the enemy of the good. Ultimately, when you date this person, your lives are going to have to harmonize. If you’re someone with more free time on Monday and Tuesday, it’s probably better that your match has time and attention to respond to a message you send then. Additionally, what if it’s a “catch” that *just joined* on Monday and will soon be bombarded by messages? Even with the data, do I think you should wait until Wednesday to message her? No.

The data that you have reflects the rhythm of most of the working world. Since you’re servicing professional clients, it’s a good thing that you have that data to send messages on the schedule that they would probably send them if they were doing it themselves.

People managing online dating on their own, they’re individuals – sending messages to other individuals. The numbers are great to have, but these people all have their own complex patterns of living.

I still feel that it’s more important to focus one’s energy on communicating effectively in their profile and writing thoughtful and engaging opening messages, than to paralyze oneself over whether they should wait to send that message.

We did some analysis of messages we’d sent on behalf of our clients and found that the day that you send the first message is pretty important. Check out this post for more about our findings: http://virtualdatingassistants.com/Blog/2009/11/13/the-best-day-to-send-internet-dating-messages/

I’ve never been one to buy flowers though. I’m reminded of a scene in The Office when Andy gives Angela a boquet of flowers – I think before a date or something – and she ungratefully remarks “now what I’m I supposed to do with these?”

Maybe it has something to do with Love languges. Some people are “quality time,” and others are “gifts.” Though, you hardly know the girl, so it still doesn’t make sense!